addiCtEd ...

it'S 1.54 am nOw ..
cAnt slEep wEi ..
evEry niGht tRyinG tO slEep .. liSteNinG tO mp3 ..
whilE stArinG at tHe cEilinG ...
it'S tOtally dArk ..
all i sEnsE is thE wind bLowinG fRom the cEiling fAn ..
it'S tOtally dArk ..
i cAnt eVen sEe thE cEilinG fAn ...
bUt i sEe sOmethinG elSe ..
i sEe whAt i'm sEekinG fOr ..
i sEe thE pAst ..
i sEe thE fUtuRe mAybE ..
i sEe yOu ..
i sEe mE ..
i sEe evErythinG i wAn evErytimE bEfoRe i gEt intO slEep ..
evErythinG i wiSh fOr ..
evErythinG i wAn tO rEaliSe ..
eVerythinG i wAn tO dO ..
i eVen sEe ..
pEoplE i'd likE tO sEe aGain ...
pEoplE i'd likE tO spEnd my tiMe witH ..
sOmE sEemS tO bE neAr ..
sOmE sEemS imPossibLe ..
sOmE sEemS ridiCulOuS ..
sOmE jUs mAdE mE lAuGh silEntly iN my rOom ..
it tAkeS mE a lOng timE tO slEep eVery niGht ..
a lOt oF thinGs hAppEninG in mY 7cm radiUs hEad ..
my bRaiN iS jUst likE a vidEo plAyEr ..
plAyinG CDs aNd pRojEctinG thEm on tHe cEilinG thRu mY eYeS ..
i cAn sEe a lOt eVery niGht ..
sOmetimEs thEsE thinGs mAy hUrt mY emptY bRain ..
sOmetimEs thEy hUrt mY wEak hEart .. hiGh chOleStrOl fOod cOnSuMptioN lAtely ..
sOmetimEs, or rAthEr, mOst oF thE tiMe .. thEy hUrt bOth ..
LifE's jUs liKe a triAnglE tO mE ..
i stArtEd off at tHe middlE oF an eDgE ..
nOw i'm mOvinG sLoWly tO a sHarp pOint ..
tHinGs stArtEd tO nArRow dOwn ..
oNe by oNe ..
dAy by dAy ..
tHinGs gEttinG cOmplEx with littlE spAcEs lEft ..
i wiSh i stArtEd off fRom a shArp pOint to an edgE ..
haha .. bUt thErE's nO tuRninG bAck ..
sOmetimEs i rEally hAve nO idEa whAt's gOing on ..
whAt wiLL bE ..
whAt hAd happEned ..
i'M sUppoSe tO liVe evEry dAy aS if it'S my lAst dAy ..
bUt i'M livinG evEry dAy aS if tHerE's alwayS a "tOmorrOw" ..
sOmE pPl sAy whEn lOvE is fAdinG ..
"thoSe" mEmOry stArtS tO hAunt yOu ..
bUt tO mE ..
it'S cOmplEtEly tHe rEveRsE ..
tO mOst of tHe pEople oUt thErE tOo i gUeSs ..
sO loSt ..
i tOt i knEw it all ..
bUt sOme thinGs ..
i gUeSs i will nEvEr knOw ..
thinGs thAt miGht appEar diffiCult may bE thE easiEst thinG i'vE evEr dOnE ..
bUt .. sOmE bAsiC thinGs .. sEemS tO bE tHe hArdEst thinG i'vE evEr dOnE ..
aNd til tOdAy .. i dOnt evEn know hOw thEsE thinGs happEned ..
i jUst wiSh sOme oNe iS alwayS thEre fOr mE ..
cOz sOme thinGs ..
yOu jUst cAnt dO it ALONE ..
aNd jUs whEn i tRy sO hArd tO pUt thE puZzlEs tOgethEr ..
i sEe a tRanquil darknEss aGain ..
aNd suddEnly i cAn fEel thE wind bLowinG fRom tHe cEilinG fAn ..
i grAsp fOr air ..
i tOok a dEep breAth ..
aNd thAt's whEn i tEll mysElf evEry niGht ..
"dUdE .. it'S timE tO gEt into slEep ..
bEforE otHeRs stArtS tO wake uP .."
lEt mE giVe yOu a flyinG kiSs ..
RM0.60 pEr kiSs .. if yOu rEcEivEd it u oWe mE rm0.60 ..
hOt and wEt extrA chArgEs .. oNe minUte rm6.20 .. aftEr midnight rm16.80 ..
hOpe yOu cAn slEep tiGht evEry niGht ..
slEep wEll ..
slEep wEll aNd lEt thErE bE sWeet drEamS ..
fOr sWeet drEamS aRe mAde of tHeSe ...